god is teaching me….

… to stop comparing myself to yesterday, the day before, the day before that. when i look back at where i was this time last year… WOW! tremendous difference and i’m so grateful. often i forgot how truly blessed i am in that sense. that god is helping me with me dance. seriously! who can say they learned all these tricks by themselves in two years? if you can then props to you. but i know i couldn’t do it without god! but i’m realizing by how far i’ve come that this is my god-given talent. i love audition day and the nerves i get before i go on. their so worth it when i get in front of those judges and nail what i did. i need to go out and give it all i’ve got. which is what god is showing me (and i literally JUST realized this) (like 5 minutes ago).

sidenote: tricks for pom are kinda sketchy. one day i can do a perfect turn and the next day i can only do a few then i start falling. and i worry how my turns will be at tryouts. 

god is showing me that i need to go out on that dance floor and do my best FOR THAT PARTICULAR DAY. that’s kind of odd, i know. usually people are told, “you’ve done every trick perfectly in your life, so do what you’ve been doing” blah blah something along those lines. and thats great advice. but for me particularly, it’s not. since dance tricks aren’t something im consistent at, i might not go out there and nail the tricks that i know i’ve done perfectly before. and i also know that that is going to eat me up inside for years to come if it goes down that way. but i can’t let it. I need to go out there and do the best I can do that day. If I screw up every trick, that needs to be okay in my heart. as long as i know i’m trying hard that day, i have all the reason to be proud of myself. I need to get it in my head now that I might not nail every trick and that’s okay, as long as i don’t let it eat me up inside. but at the same time i need to go into the audition believing in my heart that i can nail the tricks. i just need to be right with myself and with god if i don’t do as well as i hope. im just praying that god will take over my tricks and help me do them perfectly.

god is wonderful and never leaves or forsakes you!!!
hayley. ❤

success and failure

I’ve been learning a lot about success and failure lately. After a great eye opening day with girls that God put in my life to give me a wakeup call, I have been feeling much better. I now am not anxious about the pom squad (maybe a little) but I can cope with it and I know that it’s not the end of the world if I don’t make it. God still loves me and He wanted me take this leap of faith and I did, so I am proud of myself!

I’ve come so far from this time last year and it’s all because of Him. He’s teaching me to just trust in Him and everything will work out. Lately I’ve been going to the studio and doing something great that I haven’t been able to do and I know it’s because I’m not worrying and putting myself down anymore. I used to get so upset that I didn’t have a trick down, but now I realize that even a practice that is full of unperfect turns is still perfect! Getting out there is hard, but staying out there is harder! Sometimes in practice I get frustrated and want to walk away. I get better mentally and physically, though, when I stay and keep going. A bad practice is better than no practice at all. 

ps. tryouts are next saturday, in case anyone was wondering 😉 

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

Proverbs 23:7. 

I’ve been having a big wakeup call with a lot of things! First, my confidence. Confidence in Jesus that he has my best interest no matter what happens with the pom squad, and also that I trust that he has a plan for my life. I’m learning to trying to believe in my heart that if I make the squad, it will not break me. Interesting thought: what would it be like if I couldn’t dance? I would still have God. He is constant and no matter what he is the one that’s going to be there for me no matter what. Through it all. 

Also confidence in myself. As the verse says, if I say something that I am, then that’s what I am. If I say I’m not going to make it, I’m not. Who’s going to believe it if I don’t? I’m going through today focusing on God and focusing on better and more positive thoughts. God got me this far with my dancing and I can’t continue it without him or it’s just going to fail miserably. 

I have two privates today then ballet tomorrow. I’m just going to let go, stop worrying, and have fun! Dancing is fun to me so I need to stop feeling like whether I make it or not is the deciding factor of if I’m good or not. If I failed or not. Because it’s not. I love dancing and I’ve came a long way, so I’m going to turn to God in that fact and know that he gave me this passion to spread glory to his name and share what he has done for me through dance and that’s what I’m going to focus on!!