god is teaching me….

… to stop comparing myself to yesterday, the day before, the day before that. when i look back at where i was this time last year… WOW! tremendous difference and i’m so grateful. often i forgot how truly blessed i am in that sense. that god is helping me with me dance. seriously! who can say they learned all these tricks by themselves in two years? if you can then props to you. but i know i couldn’t do it without god! but i’m realizing by how far i’ve come that this is my god-given talent. i love audition day and the nerves i get before i go on. their so worth it when i get in front of those judges and nail what i did. i need to go out and give it all i’ve got. which is what god is showing me (and i literally JUST realized this) (like 5 minutes ago).

sidenote: tricks for pom are kinda sketchy. one day i can do a perfect turn and the next day i can only do a few then i start falling. and i worry how my turns will be at tryouts. 

god is showing me that i need to go out on that dance floor and do my best FOR THAT PARTICULAR DAY. that’s kind of odd, i know. usually people are told, “you’ve done every trick perfectly in your life, so do what you’ve been doing” blah blah something along those lines. and thats great advice. but for me particularly, it’s not. since dance tricks aren’t something im consistent at, i might not go out there and nail the tricks that i know i’ve done perfectly before. and i also know that that is going to eat me up inside for years to come if it goes down that way. but i can’t let it. I need to go out there and do the best I can do that day. If I screw up every trick, that needs to be okay in my heart. as long as i know i’m trying hard that day, i have all the reason to be proud of myself. I need to get it in my head now that I might not nail every trick and that’s okay, as long as i don’t let it eat me up inside. but at the same time i need to go into the audition believing in my heart that i can nail the tricks. i just need to be right with myself and with god if i don’t do as well as i hope. im just praying that god will take over my tricks and help me do them perfectly.

god is wonderful and never leaves or forsakes you!!!
hayley. ❤